Sam: Would you punish
me for some thing i didn't do?
Teacher: no, of course not.
Sam: good, because i didn't do my homework.
(Scott)
What is green and smells?
Hulk's fart.
(Azbar Kahleed)
Why did the elephant
bring toilet paper to a party?
Becase he was a party pooper.
(Briana)
You so short you have to
look up to look down.
(Crystal)
Yo mamma is so fat:
She eats Wheat Thicks.
We're in her right now.
She was floating in the ocean and Spain claimed her
for a new world.
She lay on the beach and people ran around saying,
"FREE WILLY." (M.P.
Monaghan)
Yo mamma so ugly when she
was born, your mother said, "What a treasure!" and
your father said, "Yea lets go bury it".
(M. P. Monaghan)
Yo mamma so ugly, she got
arrested for mooning when she looked out a window.
(M. P. Monaghan)
How do you make a
blonde's eyes sparkle?
Shine a torch into her ear...
How can you tell when a
lawyer is lying?
His lips are moving.
Why won't sharks attack
lawyers?
Professional courtesy.
What do you have when a
lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?
Not enough sand.
Do you know how to save a
drowning lawyer?
Take your foot off his head.
Do you know how to save a
drowning lawyer?
No? Good!
What's the difference
between a lawyer and a bucket of shit?
The bucket.
What's the difference
between a lawyer and a vampire?
A vampire only sucks blood at night.
Yo mama's so fat she had
her ears pierced by harpoon.
Yo mama's so fat she
needs a watch on both arms because she covers two
time zones.
Yo mama's so fat she
needs a hula hoop to keep up her socks.
Yo mama's so fat when she
goes to a restaurant she doesn't get a menu, she
gets an estimate.
Yo mama's so fat, she
sets off car alarms when she runs.
Yo mama's so fat, when
she fell in love she broke it.
How many politicians does
it take to change a lightbulb ?
Two. One to change it, and another one to change it
back again.
How many Conservative
economists does it take to change a lightbulb ?
None. The invisible hand does it.
How many economists does
it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. If the light bulb really needed changing,
market forces would have already caused it to
happen.
Have you ever noticed...
anybody going slower than you is an idiot. And
anyone going faster is a maniac.
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
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